Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
