You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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