I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
