Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
