if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
