my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
