"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
