is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize