You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
