so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize