did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
