id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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