the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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