I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
