you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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