Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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