Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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