Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
