My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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