My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
