Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
