If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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