i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
