In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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