White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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