remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
