You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
