Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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