Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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