Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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