You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
