He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
