Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize