The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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