She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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