he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
