god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
