I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
