There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm too high and old for this...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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