On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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