My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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