the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize