I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
