on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
