using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
