I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
