i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
