I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
