is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
