Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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