ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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