My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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