It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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