Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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