I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
