Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
