Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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