He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
