We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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