1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
