I have demons in me.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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