i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
