I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize