When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
