I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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