i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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