Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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