i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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