You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
