You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
