I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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