i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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