JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
