The maid of honor just puked.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
