Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
