I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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