Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
