It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
