Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize