no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
