u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
