K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize