I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
