I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
