Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Welp...herpes.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
