Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
