Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we're making bets on your personal life
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize