so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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