Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
