The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
