he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
